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When the child knows that her parents will relieve her from a hurtful situation, her pain is so much reduced. When the employee believes that his management understands and protects him and his job from unreasonable treatment or untruthful complaints, he will not get affected by team politics. When spouses understand that they have each other at all times to protect and care, they are so much better as persons. So, what is helping in all these situations? It is their firm faith in future. When we know that time will eventually solve all our problems and time will like only what is good, our restlessness disappears. When every calamity is viewed as a small disturbance in the eventual calm and serene existence, life feel so much better and we are in better control of ourselves. When we know that there is a supernatural power that no other power can overpower, which takes care of us in the very long run spanning eons, we have nothing that can be allowed to possess us. We are then in our own control. Anyone familiar with the Greedy Algorithm can quickly realize that worrying about daily happenings without a vision of the ultimate future that is no different from the God, is indeed greedy and in all likeliness, less optimal. Suffering stems from the self, external happenings are only excuses for our ignorance.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Monetizing Relationships
Every relationship comes with a moral obligation. The trend has been that if that moral obligation is not being met, the obligor is made to pay in lieu of the obligation. So, instead of taking care of the elderly parents, citizens started contributing to the common pool called Social Security. If a husband was not caring for his family, either due to adultery, desertion or both, he was made to pay alimony and child support. If a losing employer isn't able to take care of its employees, they normally offer a severance. So far, the trend of monetarily compensating for a broken relationship makes sense. But the latest turn that the trend took, i think is certainly a cause for concern.
Now, not only is the obligor made to pay when s/he is at fault, but also when there is "no fault" on his or her part - essentially paving way for monetizing the most sacred spousal relationship that is so crucial for civilization to prosper. So, a conniving obligee spouse can essentially trick someone into marriage, spend a few years getting whatever he or she can from the marriage and when the balance just starts to tilt towards the benefits from a separation than staying in a marriage, invoke the privilege of a legal separation. Cleverer are those who would want the money, freedom, and other benefits from a legal separation (or from a "settlement" from criminal case in India) and still would want to enjoy the benefits of a marriage to an unsuspecting, loving, and caring spouse. Sounds unbelievable, but yes, there are such ambitious entrepreneurs of marriage.
The trend has now come to the extent of monetizing spousal, employee and child / parent relationships. But there are many other relationships, which also come with an obligation, though not as significant as spousal or child-parent obligations. For instance, in Indian culture, a brother is bound to entertain and provide some comforts to his sister's family. When i was young, my paternal aunt's entire family used to stay in our home for months at a time. In spite of the problems with them, we all loved it, assuming that it was my father's duty to support them. The time seems to have come now, when the obligations started to contend with each other. "If your sister's family stays even a day more, i'm out of here!" or "You want to lose me for your mother who will die in a few days?" don't sound unfamiliar any more. If the sisters' leagues were as strong as spousal leagues, we probably may have had laws for "sister support" by now. But alas, the issue hasn't been as significant (yet).
What's next? We already heard of the news when subscribers dumped friends on facebook for a whopper. The trend is really catching up. Soon one day, we may have systems and laws monetizing every relationship and possibly the obligations that the relationships entail, relieving, for instance, a neighbor of the obligation to give a ride to the doctor, a relative of the obligation of taking care of someone unwell, and so on. With a law being framed for every little forceful outburst from a section of society, laws may soon replace love on earth, as if money is what will remain forever.
I sincerely hope that the world will start realizing that law is not a silver bullet. Love is. Just that making a law is far more easier than fostering love at such a large scale. But the latter is not impossible either. In my younger days in India, a common man hardly encountered law. Even today, laws do not seem to be having as much impact in India as they should, because people still go by their heart when doing things, until of course, they discover the law on their side.
Now, not only is the obligor made to pay when s/he is at fault, but also when there is "no fault" on his or her part - essentially paving way for monetizing the most sacred spousal relationship that is so crucial for civilization to prosper. So, a conniving obligee spouse can essentially trick someone into marriage, spend a few years getting whatever he or she can from the marriage and when the balance just starts to tilt towards the benefits from a separation than staying in a marriage, invoke the privilege of a legal separation. Cleverer are those who would want the money, freedom, and other benefits from a legal separation (or from a "settlement" from criminal case in India) and still would want to enjoy the benefits of a marriage to an unsuspecting, loving, and caring spouse. Sounds unbelievable, but yes, there are such ambitious entrepreneurs of marriage.
The trend has now come to the extent of monetizing spousal, employee and child / parent relationships. But there are many other relationships, which also come with an obligation, though not as significant as spousal or child-parent obligations. For instance, in Indian culture, a brother is bound to entertain and provide some comforts to his sister's family. When i was young, my paternal aunt's entire family used to stay in our home for months at a time. In spite of the problems with them, we all loved it, assuming that it was my father's duty to support them. The time seems to have come now, when the obligations started to contend with each other. "If your sister's family stays even a day more, i'm out of here!" or "You want to lose me for your mother who will die in a few days?" don't sound unfamiliar any more. If the sisters' leagues were as strong as spousal leagues, we probably may have had laws for "sister support" by now. But alas, the issue hasn't been as significant (yet).
What's next? We already heard of the news when subscribers dumped friends on facebook for a whopper. The trend is really catching up. Soon one day, we may have systems and laws monetizing every relationship and possibly the obligations that the relationships entail, relieving, for instance, a neighbor of the obligation to give a ride to the doctor, a relative of the obligation of taking care of someone unwell, and so on. With a law being framed for every little forceful outburst from a section of society, laws may soon replace love on earth, as if money is what will remain forever.
I sincerely hope that the world will start realizing that law is not a silver bullet. Love is. Just that making a law is far more easier than fostering love at such a large scale. But the latter is not impossible either. In my younger days in India, a common man hardly encountered law. Even today, laws do not seem to be having as much impact in India as they should, because people still go by their heart when doing things, until of course, they discover the law on their side.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Passion is like a Steroid - Powerful, Possessive, and Perverting
Only dispassionate excellence can sustain in the long run. Passion consumes its
wielder. It takes over. A passionate person is no longer in control of things. When i first talked not so encouragingly about passion, my learned audience were very skeptical. Everywhere it is said that we need passion in our life and work. So, why would anyone say anything negative about such as fundamental ingredient of success? If we look more closely, passion may be able to help us get great results. But it can also mislead. It can cause anger, lust, and other social evils. It is the root of the arishadvargas.
When i casually talked about this with one of my marketing colleagues, he said, "I can't imagine anyone selling anything without passion." I reminded him about the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita that the majority of the world bought into. Did Jesus Christ or Sri Krishna exhibit any passion when they preached the holy texts? Knowledge dissolves all passion and drives action - should not be the other way round.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Sin Eventually Crushes the Forbearing Entity
I was reading a forwarded mail, incorrectly attributed to Bill Cosby:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/imtired.asp
and decided to write this. I think we don't have to wait to be 83 or 76 to see some truth in it. Life is certainly not fair. We have the Karma theory extending beyond the current life or the concept of God to take the unfairness in our stride. But we can still help it to some extent.
As more and more bad behaviors are accommodated into the daily living, we may think that we are helping a section of the society to gain their freedom. But eventually, living, on an average becomes increasingly difficult. Take the instance of marriage, which is so fundamental to civilized living. Many bad behaviors, such as adultery, greed, sloth, and most of the other deadly sins got accommodated into the divorce laws, either directly ("no-fault", irreconcilable differences) or indirectly (through distorted implementation / interpretation of the law). The whole idea of making money from a marriage after indulging in one or more of the deadly sins and still gaining freedom from the responsibility of the marital bonds is ill-conceived.
Trust can easily be broken and still the person breaking the trust immensely benefits from the law. The result? More and more marriages have been breaking, more and more children are growing up in sub-optimal circumstances, possibly leading to substance abuse. An Internet search for "marriage rates" shows how much it is declining and the subsequent ill-effects. We are increasingly finding both men and women opting not to marry or have children or both. So, the tolerance we are showing towards certain bad behaviors seem to be actually destroying the institution of marriage itself. The joint-family is almost dead now and family is following that path.
The society and the lawmakers seem to be caring more for sensual freedom. Ancient wisdom made it very clear that sensual freedom leads to misery. We should do only that which is right for the world, not that which satisfies our senses. Unfortunately, the society seems to be rapidly moving towards sensual, material freedom, forgetting the real meaning of freedom. Movies, TV, and media are increasingly glorifying what was once considered crime, illegal or unethical. Only when the leaders are determined to preserve the real meaning of freedom, can they ensure real happiness to the masses. Freedom of the senses is bondage of the mind and soul. Only when the senses are bounded by determination and will, will the mind and soul be free. - Vishnu Pendyala
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/imtired.asp
and decided to write this. I think we don't have to wait to be 83 or 76 to see some truth in it. Life is certainly not fair. We have the Karma theory extending beyond the current life or the concept of God to take the unfairness in our stride. But we can still help it to some extent.
As more and more bad behaviors are accommodated into the daily living, we may think that we are helping a section of the society to gain their freedom. But eventually, living, on an average becomes increasingly difficult. Take the instance of marriage, which is so fundamental to civilized living. Many bad behaviors, such as adultery, greed, sloth, and most of the other deadly sins got accommodated into the divorce laws, either directly ("no-fault", irreconcilable differences) or indirectly (through distorted implementation / interpretation of the law). The whole idea of making money from a marriage after indulging in one or more of the deadly sins and still gaining freedom from the responsibility of the marital bonds is ill-conceived.
Trust can easily be broken and still the person breaking the trust immensely benefits from the law. The result? More and more marriages have been breaking, more and more children are growing up in sub-optimal circumstances, possibly leading to substance abuse. An Internet search for "marriage rates" shows how much it is declining and the subsequent ill-effects. We are increasingly finding both men and women opting not to marry or have children or both. So, the tolerance we are showing towards certain bad behaviors seem to be actually destroying the institution of marriage itself. The joint-family is almost dead now and family is following that path.
The society and the lawmakers seem to be caring more for sensual freedom. Ancient wisdom made it very clear that sensual freedom leads to misery. We should do only that which is right for the world, not that which satisfies our senses. Unfortunately, the society seems to be rapidly moving towards sensual, material freedom, forgetting the real meaning of freedom. Movies, TV, and media are increasingly glorifying what was once considered crime, illegal or unethical. Only when the leaders are determined to preserve the real meaning of freedom, can they ensure real happiness to the masses. Freedom of the senses is bondage of the mind and soul. Only when the senses are bounded by determination and will, will the mind and soul be free. - Vishnu Pendyala
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Retaliation is an Animal Instinct
The Goddess of wealth (metaphor for qualities that get you wealth), Lakshmi asks the devil of poverty (vices that lead to poverty) to stay outside the home until the latter mends her ways. In retaliation, the devil shouts at Goddess to "get out" when the Goddess is visiting, not realizing that she's the one who is losing. That summarizes retaliation. Retaliation is mindless - like all other sensual instincts, and can be worse than similar instinct stimulated crimes such as rape and rage.
Retaliation is a much bigger problem than it appears. Most of the crimes are indeed a result of retaliation. Unfortunately, it is not as cognizable by the current law as other crimes such as rape and rage. A spouse points out some serious shortcomings that need to be corrected by the other spouse. The latter, in retaliation, separates, breaches trust in as many ways as possible and does as much damage as legally possible under the law. The latter's retaliatory actions are not even cognizable under the "no-fault," accommodating law. A family is literally killed by these retaliatory actions and it is perfectly legal. We hear of police getting killed by criminals they arrest, purely in retaliation. Police did their duty, but there is no reason for the criminal to kill them other than for retaliation. Fortunately, this killing is cognizable by law, but not the killing of the unit of civilization that the family stands for.
The instinct to retaliate or serve tit for tat is only skin deep and animalistic. A deeper insight will reveal that the cause for the original action is no longer applicable at the time of retaliation, so an equivalent counter-action is not justified. Correct solution is to address the cause for the original action. If the cause is unjustified, address that one too, but do not retaliate by yielding to instincts without a deeper thought. The more the number of times these instincts show-up, the greater is the attachment to body and the happenings associated with it, the greater is the pain and the harder it becomes to self-control.
Retaliation is a much bigger problem than it appears. Most of the crimes are indeed a result of retaliation. Unfortunately, it is not as cognizable by the current law as other crimes such as rape and rage. A spouse points out some serious shortcomings that need to be corrected by the other spouse. The latter, in retaliation, separates, breaches trust in as many ways as possible and does as much damage as legally possible under the law. The latter's retaliatory actions are not even cognizable under the "no-fault," accommodating law. A family is literally killed by these retaliatory actions and it is perfectly legal. We hear of police getting killed by criminals they arrest, purely in retaliation. Police did their duty, but there is no reason for the criminal to kill them other than for retaliation. Fortunately, this killing is cognizable by law, but not the killing of the unit of civilization that the family stands for.
The instinct to retaliate or serve tit for tat is only skin deep and animalistic. A deeper insight will reveal that the cause for the original action is no longer applicable at the time of retaliation, so an equivalent counter-action is not justified. Correct solution is to address the cause for the original action. If the cause is unjustified, address that one too, but do not retaliate by yielding to instincts without a deeper thought. The more the number of times these instincts show-up, the greater is the attachment to body and the happenings associated with it, the greater is the pain and the harder it becomes to self-control.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Happy Vijaya Dasami
అందరికీ విజయదశమి శుభాకాంక్షలు
Festive wishes to all of you on the
happy occasion of Vijaya Dasami, which means Victorious 10th. My interpretation of Vijaya Dasami, however, is Victory over the 10
senses. The festival symbolizes the destruction of tamo guna that feeds into the senses. What is the most tempting sensation to a man (these days, to some women as well), that even sage Viswamitra, with his severe penance and determination, could not overcome? It is the female form. What better entity can we propitiate to conquer this sensation than the female form of divinity itself?
When i was small, my grandmother used to call Dasara as an essentially boys' festival and always insisted that i celebrate it as much as i can - wear new clothes and recite hymns in praise of the goddesses, at least. i didn't understand then, but it does make sense now. Not that only boys need to conquer the 10 senses, but they do need it more, at least in this context :).
When i was small, my grandmother used to call Dasara as an essentially boys' festival and always insisted that i celebrate it as much as i can - wear new clothes and recite hymns in praise of the goddesses, at least. i didn't understand then, but it does make sense now. Not that only boys need to conquer the 10 senses, but they do need it more, at least in this context :).
Durga, the goddess who is worshiped for the festival, means unattainable - cannot be reached. As long as we have a terrestrial form, absolute victory over the senses is unattainable. But the festival symbolizes the goal that we should try to achieve, even if it is unattainable in this birth. It reminds us of the need to keep trying to detach from worldly matters by practice, devotion and dispassion.
When we see divinity in the objects of desire like food and opposite sex, the lowly basic need that lets the senses loose, transforms into a want of the higher plane of love and devotion. Festive food is deliberately rich and delicious - not to be hogged and consumed to satisfy a basic need, but enjoyed as a divine blessing at a much higher plane. Easier said than done though, but worth every minute of trying.
When we see divinity in the objects of desire like food and opposite sex, the lowly basic need that lets the senses loose, transforms into a want of the higher plane of love and devotion. Festive food is deliberately rich and delicious - not to be hogged and consumed to satisfy a basic need, but enjoyed as a divine blessing at a much higher plane. Easier said than done though, but worth every minute of trying.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Investing Irresponsibly is a Sin
I'm sure your first reaction would be: why will anyone spend hard-earned money irresponsibly? Think again. Who were the investors into the recent rave parties in India? Using "My son", "My sister", "My caste" as the only criterion to give money is hardly exercising responsibility. Consequences must be thoroughly thought out before investing. The investment could ruin a life, a family, or an entire social fabric. Abetting is often not punished enough. But in cases such as this, most or all of the fault lies with the investors and they are not even touched by the law. When a sin goes unpunished in a court of law, inheritance, like in Object Oriented Programming sets in and will be punished in the court of God. Hopefully, perpetrators will realize by then.
In a sense, the law regarding child support is flawed in this respect. It requires the non-custodial parent to pay significant support amount, but does not give any responsibility on how the money is used. Freedom away from the responsibilities of marriage is, IMHO, indeed taking its toll on future generations. Hope the world will realize the impact sooner or later.
In a sense, the law regarding child support is flawed in this respect. It requires the non-custodial parent to pay significant support amount, but does not give any responsibility on how the money is used. Freedom away from the responsibilities of marriage is, IMHO, indeed taking its toll on future generations. Hope the world will realize the impact sooner or later.
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